Well, now it’s been a week since I was sucked into the stage at the Transformer Gallery during a performance of Daniel Burkholder’s “My Ocean is Never Blue.” I told Ilana I was going to write on this blog immediately after the concert, but I found myself too overwhelmed to compose any coherent thoughts. As a matter of fact, I didn’t FEEL like writing about it because the experience was somewhat indescribeable and I liked it that way. I didnt’ want to disturb the intuitive, impulsive, ecstatic reaction that I had to the piece by trying to reduce it to text. ‘Twould have been wholly inadequate at the time.
But now I’ve sobered up a bit, so I can step back and reduce away.
What amazed me right away was the immediacy of it all. The gallery is tiny, no seats, a floor the size of a suburban kitchen. So the audience was on stage with the dancers. The music by Jon Matis was both jagged and big, made all the more all-encompassing by the fact that he too was on the stage – processors, amps, and all. It was amazing how quickly the experience made me unaware of the fact that I was on U St. I could have been on Mars for all I knew; I was blissfully lost.
The proximity nearly gave way to my participation at one point; I literally almost jumped in to the mix. But it wasn’t just the closeness that precipitated this near-embarassment. It was the closeness combined with the intensity of movement. While the ready-to-burst-at-the-seams music soared, the dancers seemed to seek catharsis through their improvisations, yet tempered that seeking so as to never get there. I would have been let down had I been releived of this irresolution. With every movement, I felt my body predicting where the next moment was headed, my back clinched, my hips pivoted, my knees bent. I was ready to join. (in hindsight, they really should have had security there to prevent marauding fans from storming the stage.)
So, for me, the experience was highly emotional, but in a kinesthetic way, rather than an . . . uhh . . . emotional way. Here’s how I put in a recent email regarding the performance:
“I think what got me most was the thick tension expressed in the movements; so much potential energy just waiting to burst into kinetic, always teetering on the edge of cathartic resolution. I really dug that. I’m not a dancer but I’ve always felt that if I danced, I would tend towards movement that reflects some sort of internal struggle, expressed through phrases that pit one part of the body against another. A sort of decisive indecision if you will.”
And of course, it didn’t hurt that some of the phrases reminded me of Merce — the king of acathartic movement. And yet, they didn’t seem to imitate Merce; they were extremely inventive and pure and came from the inside out.
Looking forward to the Burkholder show April 27-29.
john lanou