Comments on: egos

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by: Ilana

Tue, 25 Sep 2007 14:23:15 +0000

total absolute lupiness! I just smile and hug people and don’t even know/hear what they are saying and eager to continue the high and go party!

by: Kelly Mayfield

Tue, 25 Sep 2007 02:48:19 +0000

Ilana, I’m finding this to be so true… I’ve realized a shyness about self-promotion that I didn’t expect. I’m so truly excited about the work - the shyness is an odd experience.

Amanda, thanks for putting this out there. We do need to share support and enthusiasm for each other’s efforts. I make a point to teach this and practice it in my classes - but I can certainly do more post-performance. And, giving compliments always feels so good…

Does anyone else experience post-performance looopiness? I usually feel a bit dazed and hyper-sensitive… still open in the way only performance can bring - talking to people after a gig is surreal!

by: Ilana

Mon, 24 Sep 2007 20:19:50 +0000

I find that we as artists take the ego only so far. On the one hand we love our work and think we are pretty good at it and on the other hand shy away from asking for support from others, marketing our events in big ways, writing about the work and sharing it.

Because I think what fuels the ego is quite provocative and expressive but it somehow flips into something negative and consumed by pride.

by: Anonymous Director

Mon, 24 Sep 2007 19:49:54 +0000

opps - my comment wasn’t in responce to ken’s comment. but merely a commentary that not that many comments were being provided for this posting. sorry for the confusion and to ken.

by: Amanda Abrams

Mon, 24 Sep 2007 18:55:44 +0000

thanks, y’all. all of these points are valid and good ones. ken spoke mostly to my point about individual ego issues, how debilitating they can be from a personal perspective, and i think he does get the point. i was trying to say something about how carried away we all get w/ our various insecurities and fears, perhaps trying to overcome them or improve, but rarely realizing that there is another option of just letting go, not letting those anxieties be a major issue anymore.

but nancy heard my other point, about making a concerted effort to truly be decent to others. nancy, i really agree–support of others builds community. there’s really no reason NOT to show support except our own pettiness or cluelessness, and when one thinks about the “golden rule” of treating others as we’d like to be treated, it’s so obvious that being supportive of others is a good thing. imagine if we were able to extend that to everyday life, so that people were always kind to those around them, and were also on the receiving end of friendliness and kindness most of the time. wouldn’t that be great?

by: Nancy Havlik

Mon, 24 Sep 2007 17:15:09 +0000

Thanks for bringing up “post performance response”. Generosity of spirit is like a virus. It spreads. If a fellow artist is supportive of my work by showing up and congratulating me in some way it makes me want to do the same at the next performance I attend. We don’t have to “love” a fellow artist’s work to support it and support her right to take the risk to “go for it”. Support of each other builds community.

by: Anonymous Director

Mon, 24 Sep 2007 15:15:11 +0000

hmmmmm - me thinkith amanda’s point was missed. . .

by: ken manheimer

Sat, 22 Sep 2007 19:32:28 +0000

i notice that i gravitate to these postings about facing fear and ego. i feel like i’ve grappled with the same questions, though, and feel very similarly about how to approach them. in fact, i think your posting is one of the clearest and most graceful descriptions i’ve seen of the pitfalls of ego for performers.

one of the things i appreciate is the balance - you acknowledge that the urgencies and anxieties of performance aren’t just obstacles, they can also be constructive forces. yet you identify the way that fear of appearing bad, failing, can lead to isolation and harm.

it all involves or begs the question, “what’s wrong with ego, anyway?”

for me, things especially fell into place with a friends description of what ‘ego’ means in buddhism. as i understand it, ego is seen as a mode of action based on fears you are not willing to face. it’s not the fears that are the problem, but the action taken blindly.

that makes a lot of sense to me - it’s driving with your eyes closed. not a terribly good idea.-)

even worse, it’s often aggressive driving, road rage - lashing out blindly to try to clobber what scares you while avoiding actually looking at it. yikes! (i know you study buddhism, amanda, let me know if i’ve totally mangled this.)

> for example, if i’m in a dance class and i mess up a combination, it’s
> true that the other dancers might notice and begin to think i’m not as
> good a dancer as they had thought. but the truth is, maybe i’m not
> actually that good! it’s great to be viewed as a good dancer, but the
> truth will ultimately come out. why not just let myself be who i am - be
> the best that i can be, but not try to pretend to be someone i’m not?

in your example, it’s fear of seeing the truth that gets in the way. it’s interesting that the fear, “maybe i’m not actually that good”, can get in the way of actually showing up, growing, becoming better. i’m a slow learner when it comes to this, but i’m old enough to recognize how willingness to face fears is sometimes my only option for progress. not all the time, and no guarantees, but surprisingly often. (and, surprisingly surprising, considering how many times i’ve rediscovered it!-)