DCDanceBlog

well, i’m about to head off for vacation–a little beach, a little family, a little this, a little that. can’t wait!

i probably don’t have time, but i had wanted to write about auditioning this week, what it felt like. i auditioned my solo on wednesday night for dance place’s new releases show, and boy am i glad that’s over! i barely ever get nervous before group pieces, even duets, but a solo is something different. i was pretty damn nervous, and sort of dreading the whole thing.

i walked in feeling prepared, but what worried me were a few technical parts that were a little tougher than the rest. in fact, though, they didn’t wind up being the main issue. what was an issue was my sense of presence. i really had felt that having a present, meditative style while performing would make all the difference, esp because that’s how the dance was created, with that feeling in mind. but i’d forgotten how difficult it is to be present performing in a new space, to two quiet people, all alone on a big stage and feeling anxious. it’s just hard to convey a sense of peace–esp with very little music! yes, there were long periods of silence in the piece; it had seemed atmospheric and peaceful and meaningful, somehow, during rehearsals. but when performing it in that daylit space, the whole thing suddenly seemed empty. not meaningful–rather, missing something.

i actually feel ok about my performance now, but i didn’t walk out feeling great. nonetheless, though, i do feel good about the whole experience. the original point of setting the audition date was to give myself an incentive to create a full piece, and i did. and i still like it. and, more important, i learned a few breakthrough things about my choreographic process and what i have to say. and all told, i somehow feel more like a dancer than i did a month or two ago. so all’s well.

but it still would be nice to hear a yes, rather than a no.